Ex for a reason....

People come into our lives for many different reasons. Over the past 29 years I have learned from EVERY single person and relationship. Ive learned when to love, how to love, when to give, how to give, when to give up, when to let go, and how to recognize my worth.

Second chances..... I used to believe in them. But there is a reason why that person is your ex. Sometimes we don't realize how bad that person is for us and/or to us. You get so caught up with "love" that you turn a blind eye to the red flags and the issues. Nine times out of ten, if it didn't work the first time, it surely isn't going to work out the second time.

We have all dated the one that can do no wrong even if they do it doesn't matter because they make you so happy and you cant imagine your life without them. *insert sarcastic tone* When in reality this person doesn't appreciate you but they tend to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship so you cant see the negative. You find yourself saying "We have the BEST time together. OMG they are perfect. We are like best friends" They have become your security blanket. They are the person that is always there for you even though they aren't THERE for you. They can show you 5 minutes of attention and that is always going to be enough for you because they find a way to make you believe that was the best 5 minutes of your life and without them you will NEVER find that type of happiness again. WRONG! If they cant be there for you on your good days and bad days, it doesn't matter how happy they make you in those couple of minutes. You deserve that time and attention and happiness ALL THE TIME! Point...blank....PERIOD!

Ive always struggled with dating an ex, I mean... clearly it wasn't popping the first time so why go through the torment again? Yes, people can change but maybe they changed to be with someone else, or maybe yalls relationship was a lesson for the both of you. It taught you things about yourself or taught you things that you no longer need to tolerate. It may have even made you a better, stronger person. But be that better person for someone that appreciates it. Take what you learned and gained from the relationship and use it to make your next one that much better!

Now there is an exception to giving an ex another chance. I know, I know its shocking after everything I just said. In some cases the relationship is GREAT! OUT-freakin-STANDING! But one of you is going through something. And while you love that person with all that you have, you just cant seem to find a way to let them in. Now I know the first thought is "well if y'all love each other and everything is good, why cant they talk to you about what they are going through?" Good question. But there is this thing called patience and understanding and sometimes those things are easier to say then to do. If your mate is going through something and you know that besides this one thing all is well in your relationship but maybe you realized this AFTER y'all broke up, give em another chance. Now if they are a paid assassin or they like to rob banks, I would say let them stay an ex. LOL Just sayin... I'm not trying to bail anyone out nor be an accessory to any crimes.

So I say all of this to say know your worth and understand that while breakups suck, they happen for a reason. Yes you are going to go through the grieving period. You are going to feel like life wont go on without them. Your life will never be the same. They were the best thing that happened to you. Blah Blah Blaaaaaah! Hurting is part of healing, but when they do the "Baby baby please come back" think about the reasons behind the break up. Hold your head up high and move on. There is always someone better, more loving, more caring and more appreciative. If you find yourself crying more than smiling, yelling more than laughing, fighting more than loving.... let it go and don't go back. So if you are sitting there reading this, thinking about getting back with that person.... hopefully this helped you realize your worth and the fact that they are your ex for a reason. *EXHALE*